Sunday, December 16, 2012

Learning About BDSM

I've known since I was a kid- perhaps even in elementary school or younger- that being tied up gives me sexual thrill. I'm not sure I understood that this feeling and urge had to do with my sexuality at that early of an age but I remember watching Discovery Channel's New Detectives and FBI Files shows when I was no older than in 3rd grade approximately  and feeling turned on when seeing the re-enactments of women being kidnapped, tied, and gagged- I do want to state for clarity that these are my fantasies and the line between fantasy and reality exists. And in my past, I have learned about bondage, the term that pinpoints my sexual desire; I remember the feeling when I first discovered the term, bondage, along with BDSM. But it was not until today when I really started to study BDSM in terms of reading lots and lots of educational and informational articles online. In the past, I've more or less looked around online, read a bit here and there on BDSM and of course, gradually, over the span of many years, viewed countless amounts of pictures and videos that turned me on back then but nowadays would be considered oh so ever soft, all the way to the hardcore porn like that of the Sex & Submission Pornography. I find it hard to write about these types of things because when I do have the sexual energy to focus on these things, I want to orgasm. But after I orgasm, I lose that sexual motivation to write in-depth articles about myself in regards to who I am sexually. It's hard at times but there is definitely stuff I want to explore and experience sexually in the future.

Here are some of the websites I was reading about just before typing this up:
https://www.google.com/search?client=opera&q=how+can+a+male+be+submissive&sourceid=opera&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&channel=suggest

http://www.submissiveguide.com/

http://www.submissiveguide.com/2012/10/is-your-heart-truly-in-it-fulfilling-submission-needs-desire/

http://voices.yahoo.com/5-things-submissive-wants-dominant-1785521.html?cat=7

http://voices.yahoo.com/5-things-dominants-want-submissive-1785209.html?cat=7

http://voices.yahoo.com/bdsm-101-different-types-submissive-freaks-1820616.html?cat=7

http://voices.yahoo.com/types-submissive-men-women-avoid-looking-1910990.html?cat=7

http://voices.yahoo.com/bdsm-meaning-collar-types-collars-1933584.html?cat=7

http://voices.yahoo.com/bdsm-safety-hard-limits-soft-limits-618422.html?cat=41

http://voices.yahoo.com/bdsm-beginners-bondage-basics-76577.html?cat=41

From reading these, a thought occurred to me of wanting to find my own voice soft, eloquent, and feminine and so it is symbolic and representative of a submissive.
Google Search: how to soften your voice

https://www.google.com/#hl=en&safe=off&tbo=d&output=search&sclient=psy-ab&q=how+to+soften+your+voice&oq=how+to+soften+your+voice&gs_l=hp.3..0l2j0i8i30j0i22.1073.5387.0.5578.24.21.0.0.0.0.381.4536.0j7j11j2.20.0.les%3Bepsugrerhigh..0.0...1.1.5I9tSJbU-To&pbx=1&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_qf.&bvm=bv.1355325884,d.cGE&fp=465bcc43df61601f&bpcl=39967673&biw=1366&bih=667

http://www.chacha.com/question/is-there-a-way-to-soften-your-voice-if-your-a-girl
"If you want to soften your speaking voice because you've been told you are too loud, try a more breathy voice. It is very difficult to be loud when breathing out a little more than usual, when talking. ChaCha!"

I like that tip.

Besides having shy tendencies, I'd imagine if I loved my voice, I would have less of a problem being vocal, even as a sub.


For a future use, when I have the time to be consistent in putting time into this blog, I want to write about my thoughts, feelings, and insights in regards to each article as I feel I will have interesting and sexually thrilling thoughts that come to me as I read these articles and want to make note of.

Monday, November 19, 2012

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Wife of an Autogynephiliac


“My list starts with the fact that I've become more than William's spouse; I've become his friend and confidante.  William actually talks to me now about his work, about his thoughts, about things that matter to him, about stuff he NEVER talked about before.  It certainly didn't happen overnight.  I really started noticing it about a year or so after discovery and it's continued to blossom.  Along with that, he also LISTENS to me. No more emailing him so that he will remember dates/times/events, etc.

I've become more than William's spouse; I've become his friend and confidante.”

“William actually talks to me now about his work, about his thoughts, about things that matter to him, about stuff he NEVER talked about before.” The equivalent for “work” as us students, would be school, about our thoughts, and stuff that matters to us.

“I really started noticing it about a year or so after discovery and it's continued to blossom.” Intimacy blossomed after she showed she was understanding of who he really was. He was revealed and understanding, acknowledgement, and acceptance happened to form connection.

“he also LISTENS to me. No more emailing him so that he will remember dates/times/events, etc.”

When you become someone’s close confidante, listening is automatic as it is crucial for the relationship to develop into one that is full of emotional intimacy.



My Favorite Feminine, Submissive Names that I Would Like to be Called in My Fantasies


This list was something I typed up on: "Sunday, ‎October ‎14, ‎2012, ‏‎11:41:36 PM" according to the properties folder of the word document. Well, here they are: 

-          Tiffany
-          Cierra
-          Ally
-          Allison
-          Lauren
-          Candace
-          Olivia
-          Emily
-          Katie
-          Elizabeth
-          Angelina
-          Joanna
-          Chelsea
-          Arianna
-          Evelyn
-          Constance
-          Vicki
-          Celina

Inspirational and Instructional YouTube Videos of M2F Transformation with The Power of Make-Up

My YouTube channel with bookmarked videos of M2F Transformations:

http://www.youtube.com/user/Embraceyourself123

favorites list:
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=FLX874pVRFQivfDgCdAYCEDA&feature=plcp

Power of Makeup List:
http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL8rG11R-PTWjTQpPSgYdpcX9V87FddNCy


Forced Womanhood and Feminization Search Yields

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Bookmarked Websites of Sexual Fantasy Services

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Pics of Submissive Females From "You...abuse...me...i...abuse...ellipses...... " Blog

what a pretty dungeon wall that is. :3
<3,submissive.female
((post script: please, please, ask me things, please.)) 
http://rapedollieangelina.tumblr.com/post/14933725084/what-a-pretty-dungeon-wall-that-is-3-3

some french girl in chains. :3
<3,submissive.female
((post script: please, please, ask me things, please.)) 
http://rapedollieangelina.tumblr.com/post/14581447502/some-french-girl-in-chains-3-3

sawhorses are soooo uncomfortable!! :D
<3,submissive.female
((post script: please, please, ask me things, please.)) 
http://rapedollieangelina.tumblr.com/post/14534923681/sawhorses-are-soooo-uncomfortable-d-3

:3
<3,submissive.female
((post script: please, please, ask me things, please.)) 
http://rapedollieangelina.tumblr.com/post/17330486302/3-3-submissive-female-post-script-please

that’s an interesting idea….*ponders*
<3,submissive.female
((post script: please, please, ask me things, please.)) 
http://rapedollieangelina.tumblr.com/post/14094761904/thats-an-interesting-idea-ponders-3


http://rapedollieangelina.tumblr.com/archive/2012/3

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Shaved Legs on Monday October 16, 2012; M2F Transformation Video

Today was the first day ever that I shaved my legs completely. I can't help but rub them against one another and feel how wonderfully smooth, soft, and feminine they feel. Too bad I can't put on Nylons right now though because I'm not alone in the apartment.

Oh yeah, the Maxwell Multiple Climax Technique may be working as I feel like I was experiencing more intense orgasms while writing that post you see below.

Here's an incredible video of a Male to Female transformation:

                                         http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQNWpZ1BFSE

I'm inspired to imagine how sexy and feminine I could look with the power of make-up done right.

BDSM, Fantasy Abduction, Sexual Torture, and Rape

http://rapedollieangelina.tumblr.com/
http://rapedollieangelina.tumblr.com/archive/

poor dears…
 <3,submissive.female((post script: please, please, ask me things, please.))   
I know that hideous monster doesn't look entirely ideal to be the ravisher and sexual sadist but fantasizing about being those beautifully figured, feminine girls being abducted, chained up in cold, metal restraints in some dungeon where my cries for help and screams can't be heard, struggling and trying to break against my binds, and of course being sexually violated against my will is such a turn on. Just look at those beautiful legs in ankle shackles. Look at the girls in yellow with her wrists chained above her head and another set of chains going from her neck as a sex slave down to her waist and ankles. Adding a gag on is the next step. And that girl in white all chained up as well. If I were these women, I would be wearing sexy nylons along with some high heels to feel even more feminine.

http://rapedollieangelina.tumblr.com/post/25306864399/poor-dears-3-submissive-female-post-script


A Perfect Scenario:

lol.
<3,rapedollie.angelina((post script: please, please, ask me things, please.))   

Someone broke into my home. With my ankles bound, thighs tied, breasts exposed, wrists and arms tied behind my back, along with a duct tape gag secured tightly across my mouth with a pair of panties in my mouth and being dressed sexy, being sexually tortured, ravished, and forced to orgasms are next on the agenda. I'll be my submissive self, dominate me, fuck me long and hard, ignore my muffled pleads to stop, make me orgasm like no other, kidnap me in your car, blindfold me while covering up my beautiful eyes that scream the message "No!", take me to your sex dungeon, tie me up in another submissive positions, and keep on going.

http://rapedollieangelina.tumblr.com/post/29422769202/lol-3-rapedollie-angelina-post-script


The Waiting Game in Anticipation:
unf.
<3,rapedollie.angelina((post script: please, please, ask me things, please.))   

Being taken out of his car, he ties me up to a wooden pole. Ankles, thighs, wrists, my entire body he retrains me. As I scream in muffled tone, "Noo! Let me go!", me removes my blindfold. He leaves me here, waiting in horror as to what he will do to me.

http://rapedollieangelina.tumblr.com/post/29981665703/unf-3-rapedollie-angelina-post-script


Spanking my Ass- Sexual Torture/ Pain
:(
<3,rapedollie.angelina((post script: please, please, ask me things, please.))   

Now in his sex dungeon, I'm bent over and forced to stick my rear end up in the air. I'm afraid he's going to fuck me now, but no, not yet. First comes the torture.

http://rapedollieangelina.tumblr.com/post/30006845571/3-rapedollie-angelina-post-script-please


uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh!!why aren’t i You? :( *sniffles in sadness* florentiiiiiiiiiine!!!
<3,rapedollie.angelina((post script: please, please, ask me things, please.))   

Look closely at her ankles. She's locked with a spreader bar. Sexy, nylon legs forced apart. Spank me hard. Force me to be your slutty whore. Talk dirty to me. Command me to stick that ass out as I retract those soft yet toned butt cheeks out of pain. Let me whimper, wince, and yell out, "AAAHHH!!!" Get close to my ear and whisper to me that this is only turning him on even more. With a terrified look on my face and a red ball gag firmly in my mouth, quickly grab down and feel my panty-covered crotch as I instantly retract my pelvis, limp my body in desperation and look down at my feet to realize the reality of this situation. In this moment, I feel the rope tugging against my wrists, my legs spread several feet apart, and see my naked self save my sexy lingerie on me. Mired in the feeling the powerlessness over the situation, my awareness is brought back to the present moment as another second of pain from the bristles slap against my reddened butt cheeks. Somehow I had always known that my job as a submissive sexy woman was to be this sex slave towards this dominant man whose face is covered by a ski mask. The pain, powerlessness, feeling of being dominated, tied up, restrained, and gagged, the perfection of the moment was beginning to make me wet.

http://rapedollieangelina.tumblr.com/post/27941606825/uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh-why-arent-i-you

     i really need some cupless bras..i know Master would really like them!!
<3,rapedollie.angelina((post script: please, please, ask me things, please.))   

Touch me down there, tell me what you want to do to me as I writhe in my bondage in fear, and remind me that I can struggle, plead, and scream all I want. No one will hear me and save me from him. I am the kidnapped bondage beauty, made perfectly to be fucked. Fuck me in every way and shape possible. Rub my clitoris, fuck me in my vagina, fuck me in my ass, force me to suck cock on my knees while sticking my butt out. Grab me by my hair while I'm on my knees. Tell me I'm a sex slave. Slap me in the face. Make me cry out of hopelessness and tell me the irony that I love to be his sex slave because I am his prisoner. Keep slapping me until I know to call you "Master". Put clothes pins on my breasts one by one. Place them underneath my armpits. Shock me with a small volt of electricity. Make me scream truly out of submission of being bound, gagged and pain that you can inflict on me that I can only plead muffledly for you to stop. Make fun of me that I'm drooling behind my ball gag yet show how sexually infatuated you are with me to the point that you want to ravish me for hours on end.

http://rapedollieangelina.tumblr.com/post/28912141551/i-really-need-some-cupless-bras-i-know-master


the 5th is still too far away…Master i need You.Your voice, Your arms…Your sadistic needs forcing me over and shoving Yourself inside me…*blushes deeply*
all in time, i know…but what does time have to take so long for?!? :(
<3,rapedollie.angelina((post script: please, please, ask me things, please.))   

Of course, fuck me long and hard. Make me orgasm with no end. Make me scream out of the supposed psychological trauma you are causing me. Keeping sliding that thick-circumferenced dick in and out of me as I feel it rubbing against my rectum. Make me scream "AAAHHH" when I feel like I'm about to pass out from the fucking. Say to me, "Like this huh?! You whore! You want this!? You want this?!"

http://rapedollieangelina.tumblr.com/post/28280259481/the-5th-is-still-too-far-away-master-i-need-you

i miss You, Master…
<3,rapedollie.angelina((post script: please, please, ask me things, please.))   

Vary your speed and intensity. Long, hard, and cum inside me. Leave me tied up and tell me that this ain't over yet. Not even close.

http://rapedollieangelina.tumblr.com/post/29922062250/i-miss-you-master-3-rapedollie-angelina

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Multiple orgasms? Dry Orgasm? Or just holding back?

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Rusty Moore Interview

http://www.worldofdiets.com/rusty-moore-interview/

Rusty Moore, author of theVisual Impact For Women program interview. 

"3. Can you give me an example of a wrong piece of fitness advice that women get from magazines and gym trainers? 
Anwer: Training to failure. When you take a set to failure, you create the conditions for growth in a muscle regardless of the rep-range. If you want bigger muscles, this can be a good thing. If you want to increase muscle tone it isn’t a great idea. 
…so 5 reps to failure will create muscle growth as will 15 reps to failure. Women are led to believe that high reps tone and low reps build muscle. It isn’t so much the rep range as it is how close to failure the muscle is pushed. This has been proven in a recent scientific study. 
Another negative of training to failure is that it can eventually break the muscle down so badly that it weakens the muscle."

"5. Let’s talk about Visual Impact For Women and the workouts you recommend. You claim that women should not train with high reps. Why is that?

Answer: “Lifting High-Reps for muscle tone” is quite possibly the worst piece of advice. High-Reps are more likely to create a “pump” in the muscle. Creating the “pump” in a muscle is a great way to create large Vascular (veiny) muscles. This is why body builders train for the pump. 
Most women don’t want large muscles with bulging veins…so probably best to stay away from high rep training. It gets even worse if they train to failure with high reps.
 
6. You recommend a lot of cardio in your program. Isn’t cardio supposed to be a waste of time? Aren’t there better ways to burn fat? 
Answer: The trend now is to have women do resistance training circuit routines or body weight circuit routines, but there are a few problems and limitations to this as a fat loss solution. 
1) These non-stops circuits can create a pump (as discussed in my previous point). 
2) Cardio, when done on machines, can be adjusted to the exact level of intensity needed to hit a particular goal. Some days that might be to boost HGH levels with intervals, some days it might be to increase VO2 max, other days it might at a lower intensity for pure fat loss. 
3) Cardio is the only variable that can be increased when a woman is at a fat loss “sticking point” and every other training variable is maxed out. She can only reduce the calories so low before she is starving. She can only do so many weight training workouts, before she breaks down her body. She can only do so many circuits before she is over trained. But…she can always ad in more low level cardio if needed. 
4) Cardio can be done in a way to create perfectly toned legs and butt…eliminating the need for direct resistance training to the legs. 
5) Cardio can be setup in a strategic way to first release fat from the fat cells, then burned with a lower intensity level. 
6) Cardio can be used to systematically drop as much body fat as a woman desires. With various circuit training routines both men and women first lose weight, but then that weight loss stalls. Adding more circuit training results in over-training…so they are stuck with more body fat than they desire."

"9. Can you share some tips for women who want to tone their legs and thighs without making them bulkier? 
Answer: Again…they should avoid the pump. I actually believe that strategic cardio creates the nicest looking legs and butt. If they want to ensure that their legs stay slim, they can stick mainly to the treadmill and elliptical. If they want to work the butt a little harder, they can use the stepmill. If they want to add a little muscle they can use the exercise bike.

If they do want to use resistance training, they simply need to avoid approaching failure. They can use squats to target the quads or something like step ups or dead lifts to target the legs and glutes a little more. They are less likely to get the pump if they use lower reps short of failure compared to higher reps. "

"12. How can a woman who feels that she’s added too much muscle work to create a more feminine physique? 
Answer: I do have a whole chapter about “losing muscle on purpose”. Here is the short version: 
Use marathon cardio with a slight calorie deficit. So jogging at a medium pace on a treadmill, but in a fasted state. I did this to lose 20 pounds of muscle from my lower body about 10 years ago. My legs were huge from doing squats to failure and a lot of resistance training for my lower body. I was sick of not being able to buy nice dress pants. 
The key to making marathon cardio work is to ensure that calories are avoided both before and after the session. You also have to do it for 45 minutes minimum. This type of training sucks…but this won’t have to be done forever. Typically 4-6 months will produce great results.  
Once the muscles have reduced in size, then she can use my brief strategic cardio outlined in the course…which is WAY more enjoyable."

Bound and Ready to Get Fucked Album

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